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When Life Feels Heavy

It's been a while since I've written here. 


Not because I didn't have anything to say... but because life has been heavy in a way that doesn't leave much room for words. 

The kind of heavy that comes from holding too much, 


Lately, I've felt stretched thin.


Trying to take care of everything...  the house, the responsibilities, the emotions, the details no one else seems to notice. 


Taking care of my child when he's sick. 

Trying to keep life moving forward.

Trying to stay steady.


And somewhere in all of that, I've realized something hard:

You can be surrounded... 

and still feel completely unseen.


Sometimes it feels like you're only noticed when something is needed. 


Like your presence is expected,

your effort is assumed, 

your strength is taken for granted. 


And that's a lonely kind of tired. 

Not just physical exhaustion...

But emotional exhaustion. 


The kind that comes from always being the one who shows up, 

the one who carries, 

the one who keeps going...


Even when no one is really asking,

"Are you okay?"


Even when no one is stepping in beside you. 

And then, when you finally reach your limit...


When you finally say,

"I need space,"

or 

"This is too much,"


People don't always respond with understanding.

Sometimes they respond with frustration.


As if your boundary is an inconvenience.


As if your need for peace is something you should apologize for.



But I'm learning...

Boundaries don't make you cold. 

They don't make you difficult. 

They don't make you unloving. 


They just mean you're finally being honest about what you can't keep carrying. 


Because life is too short to live in constant survival mode. 

Too short to be endlessly poured out. 

Too short to stay in places where you feel invisible. 

I don't have a perfect ending today...


Just this:

If you've been tired, overwhelmed, or doing the work of 3 people while trying to stay soft....

 

You are not wrong for wanting support. 

You are not selfish for needing rest. 

You are not weak for finally drawing the line. 

Peace matters. 

And choosing yourself isn't giving up...


It's coming home. 


- With love from the porch,

Brandi


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